Journey to Naomi

2009-03-10T21:14:00.001-05:00

Overcoming negative thoughts

For those of us whose lives seemingly consist of one crisis after another, it's easy to fall into the nasty habit of negative thinking. My religious teachings tell me to "take every thought captive," and I take that instruction very seriously. But it's easier said than done. That's why I constantly remind myself to not be distracted by what's in front of me.

I had to really push myself to write today's earlier post. I shoved aside all unproductive thoughts, such as:

No one will care.
Stop whining.
Pull yourself together.
You're a failure.

You get the point, I think. It was important that I write the post, if only for myself. There was something very "freeing" about getting my feelings out of my head and onto a page.

Shortly after that post appeared, I received a comment from Sidhusaaheb. Surprise! A few minutes later, my daughter told me that she had a new job. Good news!

My daughter and I have been in similar circumstances. She has been on her current job for two years and is one of the most skilled employees in her field. However, after the new year, her hours were cut drastically. Employees with less seniority and fewer skills were getting more hours.

As a result, both of us have been in an active job search. I prayed that God would bless my daughter with a new position. That prayer has been answered! As I wrote earlier, I believe my own breakthrough - my "get out of jail card" - is near. The fact that my daughter has an opportunity for a fresh start gives me hope.

Never give up. There is a God!

Tags: naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2009-03-10T00:05:00.006-05:00

What a difference a year makes

It's been over a year since I posted here. In my last entry, I wrote that things were changing for the better, and then I dropped off the face of the earth. I started a lot of posts, but I never finished them. I'm determined to get this one up, no matter what.

A lot has transpired in the last year, especially job-wise. I worked very hard in my education position. The organization is very dysfunctional. Power-plays at all levels were underway - mostly because there were many changes in leadership.

I achieved a lot, but it came at a price. Colleagues were jealous, so they sabotaged my work. I received a great performance review, but my boss was canned. A new boss came on board and within a couple of months placed me on probation for poor performance. It just came out of the blue. No warning.

My job is a place where the Peter Principle thrives. Mediocrity is alive and well. Nevertheless, I continued to give the organization my best work. I tie all of my work back to God and the students.

Don't get me wrong. I respect authority. However, it's tough working in an environment where personal agendas reign supreme. Factor in the fact that a couple of colleagues are paranoid, passive aggressive, and kiss-ups to anyone who they perceive is in control. They are also you-know-what disturbers. I made the most out of each workday, but going to work just wasn't much fun.

Cutting to the chase: I'm now laid off, and I'm looking for another job. My daughter panicked at first because she thought we'd be homeless again. I have no intention of letting that happen. Still, the economy makes job-hunting a challenge. I've had a nasty bout with clinical depression.
Simply put, I have moments when I feel like I'm a failure. I've withdrawn socially. I know that's not good, but I feel I need some time to pull myself back together.

Despite all this, I try to look beyond what's in front of me. I also try not to lose sight of the good things that are happening.

My daughter is still in college, and she's doing well. My grandson is now three. Actually, he's three going on 30. He's taller than a lot of four-year olds. It's amazing how much he comprehends - how well he talks for his age. I can actually have conversations with him. He's my buddy. He's also a ham - incredibly funny. That comes in handy on days when the emotional pain is excruciating.

I don't believe God has brought me through a lot of changes, just to let me self-destruct now. Because I feel so miserable, I believe a breakthrough is about to happen. I just have to hang in there and be thankful for what I have.

The one thing that's constant in life is change. Now that's something positive. Happy new year.

Tags: naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2008-02-09T08:52:00.000-06:00

Coming out of the desert

To update you on our family's situation: We finally have another home! We are scheduled to move into an apartment on March 1. My daughter and my grandson just celebrated birthdays. My grandson just turned two. He is such a robust, busy, and chatty child. :-) Most importantly, he is happy.

I'm still working in education. After months of low pay, I moved into a higher-paying interim position with more pay. It came with a lot more responsibility, long hours, and high stress. My employer finally dropped the interim status. I'm still doing the work of the three people who left the department several months ago, but I'm surviving.

Yes, I have my days of frustration, but I never forget how thankful I am to be working. My daughter is in college full-time and working part-time. She is the one who found us a place. Two days ago, she informed me that she bought us living room furniture out of her earnings. We had to leave a lot of our furniture behind when we lost our last home.

I will finally be able to be reunited with my daughter. I can finally liberate her from the situation that she is living in. My grandson's babysitter is now dating my grandson's paternal grandfather - the man who thew my daughter and the baby out of his home shortly after inviting my daughter and the baby into his home. The sitter, who is also a family friend, knew the circumstances under which my kids came to her. I have been paying room and board for the kids since they've been there. This is separate from what she gets paid for childcare.

I will always appreciate that this woman allowed my kids to board with her. However, it's too bad that she doesn't understand that she has humiliated my daughter and betrayed my family.

Once we are settled into our own place, our next move is to find another childcare provider.

Never give up hope. God is good!

tag: journey to naomi

2007-11-10T07:50:00.000-06:00

Easing back into

the blogosphere

I feel as if I've been away from family! I'm looking forward to reestablishing contact with my blogging buddies, find out how each of you are doing and visiting your sites. You have no idea how much I have missed you!

For this post, my mood is reflective. I have been listening to recording artist Joss Stone. She's awesome! A song on her current album really touches my soul. I listen to it every chance I get - Bruised But Not Broken. The lyrics are by Diane Warren.

My love for this song has nothing to do with being lovelorn over some guy. It does reflect my philosophy on coping when the going gets tough.

Bruised But Not Broken

Been a lot that I’ve been through
I’ve cried a tear a time or two,
Baby, you I cried some over you, yeah
Had my heart kicked to the ground
Love ripped me up and tore me down, baby
But that ain’t enough to break me
‘Cause I’ll rise above it
And I’ll pick myself up
And I’ll dust the pain off, off my heart

[Chorus]

And I’ll be all right, and I’ll love again
And the wounds will mend
I’m bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I’ll get back on my feet
It’s not the end of me
My heart is still open
I’m bruised by not broken

Been a lot of tear-stained nights
I thought the tears were here for life, baby
The hurt came on and held on tight
I took a chance, I took a fall
Love broke my heart and shattered all my dreams
But I won’t be down on my knees
‘Cause I’ll rise above it
And I’ll pick myself up
And I’ll shake the rain out of my heart

[Chorus]

And I’ll be all right, and I’ll love again
And the wounds will mend
I’m bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade,
I’ll get back on my feet
It’s not the end of me
My heart is still open
I’m bruised but not broken

Gonna pick my heart up
Take my life back, shake the hurt away
Pull myself together, put the pieces back in place
See I’ve learned love’s so hard
Love left my soul scarred, was shattered inside
It’s out me, baby

[Chorus]

And I’ll be all right, and I’ll love again
And the wounds will mend
I’m bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I’ll get back on my feet
It’s not the end of me
My heart is still open
I’m bruised but not broken

And I’ll be all right, and I’ll love again
And the wounds will mend
I’m bruised but not broken
And the pain will fade
I’ll get back on my feet
It’s not the end of me, baby
My heart is still open
I’m bruised but not broken,
Bruised but not broken
Bruised but not … but not broken, ooh

To listen to Bruised But Not Broken, click here.
Are you familiar with the work of singer Joss Stone?

tags: challenges, coping, music, joss stone, perseverance, naomi-usa, journey to naomi

2007-04-08T17:29:00.000-05:00

To Shirazi and Sidhusaaheb, with love

I never thought in my wildest dreams that my recent and previous posts - about my housing situation and my son - would prompt so much conversation. It even spread over to Shirazi's site.

To be honest, I have thought about the very alternatives that you have brought up. I would love it if my son were to invite me to stay a little longer or suggest that we combine our finances and get a better home. But he has not offered to do that.

I didn't raise my son to be a mama's boy. Still, if our roles were reversed, I probably would go out and get another job, then move the family into a bigger place, as you have suggested. But I have to respect the fact that my son is young and deserves to live his life however he wishes.

If you want to be annoyed with someone, be annoyed with my two brothers, who have not done one thing to help their sister. If they don't want to take their sister or niece into their homes - and they don't have to do that - the could have made it possible for the women to live in the "family home," my father's house, if only temporarily. But my father has allowed my youngest brother to control the family home for many years. With my father's blessings, my brother lived in that house rent-free before and after he married. He still maintains control of it - using it as an address so that he can be mayor in the community in which we grew up. My brother has a large house about 20 minutes away that serves as his "real" home - where he, his wife and children live.

Getting back to the so-called family house, which my parents bought when we were small:

For seven years, my brother lived there as an adult but didn't hold a full-time job. My dad even paid the phone bill and the cable bill! Meanwhile, his only daughter (yours truly) was working and struggling to make ends meet as a single parent.

My youngest brother has gathered many his material comforts off the back of my father. He is now a mayor, and he always campaigns on a platform of giving back to the community. But apparently helping the community does not extend to family. My other brother, the middle child, also has done nothing. They don't even have a relationship with my son, spiritually mature well beyond his years, very intelligent and a very sweet young man. My brothers, both of whom are in their 40s, still rely on my father for assistance in one way or another.

I'm not going to portray my son as perfect because he is not. But my son sure as heck knows more about being a man than his uncles ever will.

No matter what you think my son should or should not do, I am convinced that he loves his sister and me. After all, when he was a little boy, he saved the lives of his mother and his then unborn sister.

If you really think my son should act differently, then pray that God reveals this to my son. Once you have said the prayer, leave it with God. That's what I'm trying to do. In the end, "who is right" is not nearly as important as "what is right." What is right is for me to abide by my son's wishes.

By the way, just for the heck of it, I asked my son about pooling our incomes and getting a bigger place, where he could have his own private section of the house and I could have mine. I knew his response before I even put the question to him. It's not an option.

One day I'll write a book about my fabulous life. Let's hope I get an awesome book deal! If I get really rich, I'll plan an expense-paid party and trip for all my blogging buddies!

tags: families, sons, mothers, men, women, relationships, culture, homelessness, naomi-usa, journey to naomi

2007-04-07T18:50:00.000-05:00

Let's talk about love (encore)

I just enjoyed reading an earlier post. Just click on the header. Perhaps you will enjoy this as much as I.

2007-04-02T20:11:00.000-05:00

As the stomach turns

Many of you have wondered where I've been have left me inspiring messages and notes of support. Your caring is very much appreciated. My computer monitor recently died, which limits my online access. But that's just a tiny thing compared to my ongoing family concerns.

This weekend I comforted a daughter in tears over our unstable living arrangements and finances. And my son, with whom I still live, emailed me the following:

Mom,

We need to set aside some time in the near future to talk. I was going to chat w/ you last night, but by the time you got back, I was tired and ready to get in the bed. But the issue at hand, of course, is our current living situation. I've talked to people about it and prayed about it as much as I can, but we're now coming to a point where I think there has to be a change. It's nothing against you personally or anything that you've done, but I'm just unable to function constructively or socially without having my personal space and time. And I'm not talking an hour here or there, I mean overall. Whenever you first came to stay, I realize that it was because of necessity, but it was also meant to be temporary. After eight or so months, I can't see an end in sight and unfortunately i really can't continue as is for much longer.

I know that things are difficult, but for my sanity's sake, over the next few weeks I think it's essential that you start making alternative arrangements as far as a place to stay. I'll help in whatever way I can, but since I had to replace my car, my extra money is now gone. I was planning on helping you out on a monthly basis whenever you got your own place, but now those funds have gone into the truck, taxes, etc.

So I don't know whether you can find an actual permanent place within that time span or if you can find a friend or relative who would be willing to house you for a few months until you can get everything in order. I'm not trying to "put you out" but I'm at a point where I need to get my place in order and get my life in order and I'm unable to do that until I have a peace of mind at home. Right now I'm beginning to enter into a depression over this situation and I can't allow that to go any further. I'm sure this isn't the most "convenient" time to begin looking for another place, but there's really never a convenient time for a conversation about this. But I've been putting it off for a few weeks, but have realized that it really is time to put certain things in motion. So hopefully this isn't upsetting. If you want me to talk to anybody, let me know.

I probably won't be home until late tonight, so we might not be able to discuss further in person until tomorrow. But hopefully you understand.

Love,
Your Son

My son is a very loving, generous young man. No mother wants her child to be distressed. My son didn't have to write me to tell me that he was depressed. I could already feel it. And it makes me sad.

I hope that my daughter, grandson and I will have a place to call home soon. Our homelessness could have been avoided if my brother, who thinks he owns the "family house" (my parents' house) would move aside so that I could move in. My brother lives at the house part-time for political reasons. My brother has his own home, where he lives with his family.

My parents' names are on the deed to the house, not my brother's. My dad lives elsewhere. My mother is dead. My brother simply is blocking my moving into the home because he thinks he can. Up to now, my dad has allowed my brother to get away with it. But my father is finally seeing the light.

My blood pressure is high, and I've been experiencing severe stomach distress for weeks. My job responsibilities have changed, and our school district is about to be taken over by the state.

I'm not stressing out about my job. Despite the political and emotional turmoil students, parents and staff are experiencing, I am enjoying my new assignment because I feel that I am making a difference. I was asked to be a part of the transition team. It's hard work, but I like challenges.

Back to my personal life: I still find opportunities to smile. Today my grandmother (my mother's mother) celebrates her 96th birthday. Grandmother's body may be weak, but her memory is still good. And she still charms everyone she meets. That is a blessing!

tags: naomi-usa, journey to naomi

2007-03-20T16:59:00.000-05:00

A salute to spring

To walks
To strolling
To kicking rocks across the street
To holding hands
To silly jokes
To laughter for no particular reason

To incredibly blue skies
To astoundingly white clouds

To nights so black
To stars so twinkly
To the man in the moon smiling down

To clearing a patch and planting seeds
To tomatoes free from tomato rot

To rainy days
To stormy nights
To cold mornings

To hot coffee
To bologna sandwiches
To chocolate chip cookies

To happiness
To Spring

- Unknown -

tags: spring, inspiration, naomi-usa, journey to naomi

2007-03-11T21:35:00.000-05:00

'Earth to Naomi'

Blogging typically serves as therapy for me. It serves a creative and emotional outlet. However, recently, I haven't been publishing with any regularity. Why? There are two reasons, which are related.

1. I've had a rocky experience on the job that I accepted in the fall. I love my work. However, there were people issues over which I had no control - crazy stuff. But I'm surviving it. In fact, just a week ago, I was suddenly reassigned - temporarily - to the executive office at headquarters. One of the senior officers called my boss, requesting me.

2. I've been dealing with major depression for months. It just has a way of popping up. Actually, I was diagnosed with major depression many years ago, but I have always worked very hard to keep going in spite of it.

Not a day goes by when I don't think about you, my readers. You have given me so much in friendship.

I'm trying to get back into the habit of blogging regularly. But please bear with me as I work to get myself back. For the moment, I'm a bit of a recluse. I have a lot to say, much of it humorous. But somehow I can't get it out. But that will change. Maybe the change will happen this week on my birthday. :)

tags: depression, naomi-usa, journey to naomi

2007-03-03T21:47:00.000-06:00

As seen on bumper stickers

- So many men, so few who can afford me.

- God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

- Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

- Coffee, chocolate, men - some things are just better rich.

- I'm out of estrogen, and I have a gun.

- Do not start with me. You will not win.

- All stressed out and no one to choke.

- I'm one of those bad things that happens to good people.

- If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.

- Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to bury the bodies.

- If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

- How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Tags: bumper stickers, humor, life, naomi-usa, journey to naomi

2007-02-26T08:38:00.000-06:00

Quote of the week

Never place

a period

where God

has placed

a comma.

- Gracie Allen

2007-01-21T09:41:00.000-06:00

Examining alternative 'marriages' in the Arab world

In Iraq, some men practice the "enjoyment marriage," also known as "mutaa." Shiite clerics and others who practice mutaa, say the unions are not much different from a traditional marriage, where the husband pays the wife's family a dowry and provides for her financially.

Proponents of mutaa say such marriages are keeping young women from having unwed sex and widowed or divorced women from resorting to prostitution to make money. Critics of enjoyment marriages, most of them Sunni Arabs, say it is less about religious freedom and more about economic exploitation.

Is a mutaa contract really in the best interest of Muslim families? Dawn.com and the Washington Post examine this ancient tradition.

As I was researching mutaa contracts, I ran across a story in the Middle East Times that describes the misyar marriage, a no strings attached arrangement practiced by some Sunni men.

What do mutaa and misyar marriages say about these men's commitment to Muslim women? Inquiring minds want to know.

Tags: mutaa, enjoyment marriages, misyar, marriage, muslims, arabs, women's rights, culture, traditions, naomi-usa, journey to naomi

2007-01-20T18:02:00.000-06:00

Could someone tell my dad?

Your Power Level is: 89%

You have all the tools you need to be a success - both professionally and personally.
You'll probably go beyond reaching your goals. You'll change the world (at least a little).

How Powerful Are You?

Tags: blogthings, fun, success, musings, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2007-01-20T16:44:00.000-06:00

Brief update

With the exception of a couple of things, life hasn't changed too much since my last post. I'm still looking for a place to live. I thought I had found one this week, but it didn't work out. One of my colleagues is helping me look, and I am very thankful for that. He has lots of contacts with people who own property or have knowledge of resources.

I've been updating my son about my "progress". I told him that I noticed that he had been pretty quiet recently - and if I had done anything to annoy him, I needed to know. My son assured me that I had done nothing wrong. But he repeated what he had said before - that he can't "do certain things" at his apartment while I am here. I assured my son that he didn't have to worry about me staying with him long-term because while I'm living with him, I can't do a lot of things.

I must admit that for a few days, I wasn't really happy with my son, although I respected his need to have his privacy again. So, for a few days, I stopped doing some of the things I typically did - like cooking dinner for two and buying food for both of us.

I just cooked for myself. I only bought food that I liked. I wasn't angry at my son. I was a bit disappointed. I'm not the kind of mom who tries to put her children on guilt trips, but I couldn't help remembering all of the sacrifices I had made for my son. I also remembered how proud I am of my son - that he really is a wonderful young man. He isn't perfect, but neither am I. One day the burden I had been feeling went away. I knew I had to let the hurt feelings go if I was going to continue to move forward.

I'm sure everything will work itself out. It will just take some perseverance and patience. I am grateful for having people here who care - and for having a colleague at work who is willing to make calls every day on my behalf.

As for other things going on, my daughter's godfather and I exchanged heated words last weekend. Godfather started whining about my daughter's pregnancy. As far as I'm concerned, we need to move on. I apologized for getting angry, but Godfather isn't taking my calls. I know that I'll simply have to wait him out.

Even so, life is good, and it's going to get even better. Thanks to all who share my feelings of hope.

Tags: life, family, musings, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2007-01-12T01:44:00.000-06:00

Poem of the day

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Thanks to Sidhusaaheb for sharing this Kipling gem.

Tags: poem, rudyard kipling, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2007-01-09T18:54:00.000-06:00

Quote of the day

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor,
and we are funny to God.
- Bill Cosby

Tags: quotes, humor, bill cosby, god, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2007-01-06T21:40:00.000-06:00

It goes on and on for days, then suddenly it gets worse

Some days I just have too much "life". Wednesday evening is a perfect example.

After working a long day at the school, I went to visit my daughter and the baby. The kids are still staying with friends, while I live nearby with my young adult son. My daughter, grandson and I been moving around a lot during the past year. Technically, we're homeless. In a post a couple of months ago, I wrote about the living situation where my daughter lives currently - a household with a lot of females. Wednesday night I saw firsthand what she's dealing with.

When I went to the house, I had planned to just drop off money to my daughter, "Anne," rather than visit, so that she could get some rest. When I saw my daughter at the door, however, I could tell something was not right with her. She looked unhappy and stressed. I decided that I'd go inside to talk with Anne. I wanted to do this privately, away from everyone else in the household.

Sometimes the best thing a parent can do is listen

It took some doing, but I finally got my daughter to start talking. I listened. Sometimes my daughter doesn't want to talk about what's bothering her. But I've learned that if I can get to talk at all about something, she decompresses and eventually returns to her bubbly, inspirational self. But something happened that shot my efforts all to hell.

The mom of the house, "Mary," stuck her head in the room we were in, and asked suspiciously what was going on. But before we could answer, she said, "I don't like it when you two sit in here and talk about me." I looked at Mary in amazement. She continued to talk.

"I could see the tension in Anne's face when she came inside. So I guess she said something to you. She's been walking around here looking unhappy. I asked her what was wrong several times, but she wouldn't tell me. Now she's talking to you in my house."

Can't we all just get along?

The situation escalated. The more Mary talked, the more upset my daughter became.

"I didn't ask my mom to come inside, and we weren't talking about you!" Anne said in frustration.

"All you do is take me for granted!" Mary countered.

By this time, all the little kids and Mary's 19-year old daughter had come into the room. All I could think was that we needed to clear the room quickly.

"Mary, could we get all the kids out of the room so we can have a private conversation?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"You always take up for her!" Mary screamed. Clearly, she was taking this whole thing personally and was hurt. At that moment, I felt as if I were the only grownup in the room.

Now it gets ugly

It finally happened. My daughter exploded. She yelled back at Mary and started cursing. Anne is very respectful of adults, and it is not her personality to curse. When Mary's 19-year old daughter heard Anne's outburst, she got into the act and started screaming accusations at my daughter.

You get the idea. Meanwhile, there were all these little kids around us, including my 11-month old grandson. And my daughter just burst into tears.

I was very frustrated because I had tried to prevent this outburst from happening. I didn't want to see anyone hurt - not my daughter, not Mary, and I certain didn't want the children witnessing this. I certainly don't condone my daughter's behavior, but I think Mary pushed her over the edge.

Eventually, I got a tearful Mary to go behind closed doors where we could talk. I left my sobbing daughter in the other room. That was hard to do, but I felt that I really needed to talk to Mary first. I kept my composure as Mary sobbed about how she considers my daughter to be her own and how much she loves her, but she wouldn't allow any child to disrespect her. I assured Mary that my daughter was already grieving about her outburst and that she would apologize.

I offered to start looking for another place for my daughter and the baby to live. The last thing we wanted to do was to disrupt someone else's household. Mary wouldn't hear of it. I have been dragging the kids from one place to another for almost a year. Mary was the one who invited my kids into her house. She's really an angel.

Mary knows how much I want my daughter and I to have our own place again - how much I want to give my son his privacy back, especially since he lives in a one-bedroom apartment. There's one problem, though. My job carries lots of responsibilities, but it pays slightly above the poverty level. In addition, once I accepted the position, the state decided that I no longer qualify for public assistance for food. I'm appealing the state's decision. The assistance helped me to feed my family.

A return to peace

By the time I left Mary's house, she and my daughter were hugging and saying "I'm sorry." They were smiling. So was everyone else in the house.

I smiled back, then hugged everyone and said good night. I was very, very weary, but I didn't let it show. By the time I got home, I was numb.

I told my son about the incident later that night. He listened. Then he suggested that I should be putting more effort in finding my own place. His message was short and sweet. He was uncomfortable in his own house because I was there.

"You've been here five months," he said.

I looked at my son. I didn't argue. I made my bed on the sofa and went to sleep.

In the end, I know everything will get sorted out. We'll all get our lives back. For a couple of days, it hurt like hell. Here's to character-building moments.

Tags: anger, women, females, estrogen, family, parenting, children, friendship, stress, homelessness, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2007-01-04T23:51:00.000-06:00

Ordinary Heroes

Ordinary heroes walk
among us with
uncommon bravery
and profound care.

Some wear uniforms
and carry badges.
Some do not,
but all wear the
armor of integrity,
compassion, courage,
and honor.

Our greatest heroes
know that great things
come from a series
of small actions.

They know how to
protect and defend
so that others may live.
Their love, compassion,
and bravery
are God’s touch
upon humanity.

- Unknown

Who is your hero?

Tags: heroes, inspiration, values, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-12-31T23:45:00.000-06:00

Blessings to you in 2007

Happy New Year!

2006-12-30T20:57:00.000-06:00

Issues of race - with an international flavor

Tarek "started" it about two weeks ago with a post titled "Gorgeous by the Media" - in which he offers his opinions on the beauty of Halle Berry and Beyoncé. The post made some references to alleged racism by society and the media.

Intrigued by the post, I wrote a couple of comments. It wasn't long before a reader known as Amre commented on my site as well as on Tarek's. Amre suggested that those of Arab heritage needed to look at how they perpetuate racism before hurling allegations at others.

Tarek just wrote a follow-up post, Black and White. In it, he summarized the issues at hand. But it was how he began his post that was the most compelling:

Are we racists!? Do you really think, we, Arabs, are racists!

I will say that I have observed that some Arabs - and I emphasize the word "some" - can be condescending to people of other cultures. Often, it's subtle rather than overt.

When it comes to who is prettier, Halle Berry or Beyoncé, I think it’s merely a matter of taste. Tarek thinks Beyoncé is hot and that Halle is not. To argue with him seriously would be silly. I do think that Tarek overstates the case that the media is responsible for Halle's popularity. Halle has been working at her craft for a long time in an industry full of pretty women. Frankly, I think Halle has more depth than Beyoncé, but somehow I don't think Tarek is looking for depth. ;-)

I find it interesting that Tarek couldn't just write a post about which celebrity is prettier. He had to bring the issue of race into it. Then Amre posted his own comment on my site. For me, here is the most interesting part:

One more thing in case you are african american. I have to tell you that the ancient Egyptians were not black people. They were just like the contemporary ones of an arab or middle eastern material.

Let me get this right. We all are descendants from Adam and Eve, but people of color can't claim ancient Egyptians as part of their heritage?? The sad thing is that Amre obviously doesn't see the truckload of biases this comment carries.

Are Arabs racists? The question remains open for discussion. Kudos to Tarek for having the courage to put the issue out there.

Tags: arabs, egyptians, egypt, racism, culture, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

Add to: Digg

2006-12-28T07:56:00.000-06:00

Quote of the day

I love this quote by E. B. White:

You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.

Charlotte
Charlotte's Web

tags: quotes, life, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-12-26T16:44:00.000-06:00

Are computers masculine or feminine?

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. For example, house is feminine (la maison); pencil is masculine (le crayon).

A student asked, "What gender is computer?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups - male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether the word computer should be a masculine or feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for the recommendations.

The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for immediate later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (le computer), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Source: TruthBook.com

tags: humor, computers, women, men, relationships, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-12-24T23:59:00.000-06:00

For unto us a child is born,
unto us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6

May the Light of the world shine in our hearts
this season and always.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-22T22:00:00.000-06:00

Tagged! My 15 favorite things

Long ago and far away, a blogging friend tagged me. I'm tasked with listing 15 of my favorite things. Here goes:

1. Writing
2. Staying up on current events
3. Learning new things
4. Being near water and/or fish
5. Reading mysteries/psychological thrillers
6. Meditating
7. Listening to music
8. Hugging my brother (he hates it!)
9. Watching 'Star Trek' and 'Law and Order'
10. Buying lipstick
11. Watching any movies featuring Robert De Niro or Al Pacino
12. Engaging intriguing people in conversation
13. Nibbling on dark chocolate
14. Hanging out with my father's or children's generation
15. Playing on the floor with toddlers

Tags: musings, the journey to naomi

2006-12-21T17:29:00.000-06:00

I'm still here

I probably should have posted this message at least three weeks ago. I have not abandoned my blog. I've just had a lot of "stuff" going on.

I am at no loss of topics to write about. But because I felt as if I were painted into a corner, I was working overtime to maintain my focus and my cool. There are enough people ranting in the blogosphere. You don't need to hear me, too! Taking my own advice about pity parties was in order, I think. :-)

The "smoke" is clearing. I still have my challenges, but I'm coping better. What has kept me going is the treasure of friendship I experience here. Here's hoping all is well in your world.

Tags: musings, the journey to naomi

2006-11-19T00:42:00.000-06:00

Exploring the final frontier

I'm a huge Star Trek fan. I never tire of watching reruns of the original Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation. I absolutely loved Deep Space 9, but it appears that I'm going to have to buy the DVDs if I want to watch those episodes because I can't DS9 on TV.

It's funny that I would grow to be a "trekkie". My first exposure to the original series was in college. My roommate lived for Star Trek! That's all she ever watched on TV, and it was my TV! She bought the log books so that she could memorize the dialogue. So it was not unusual for my friend to mouth the words as we watched an episode. My friend drove me nuts with this, but I put up with it because she was my friend. After college, she convinced her new husband to honeymoon at a Star Trek convention, and he didn't even watch the series! I hated Star Trek - probably because I was saturated with it when I lived with my roommate.

Years after college, I started watching reruns of The Next Generation (TNG). I took to the series immediately. I fell in love with Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart). He appealed to my intellect. He was cultured. And, darn, was he sexy! I never felt that way about Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner, star of the original series), but I was crazy about Mr. Spock, the Vulcan. On TNG I also had a thing for a certain Klingon, Lieutenant Worf. My friends teased me because I had a "thing" for two characters that 1) weren't considered to be conventionally attractive, and 2) didn't display much warmth. We won't explore the psychological implications of my crushes!

My fascination with space and science fiction goes back to my years as a young girl, when I read voraciously about planets and drew pictures of planets and radar systems - at least the way they appeared in my imagination. I think space has always been my escape from the real world. It still is to this day.

When Star Trek: Deep Space Nine came on the scene, I was instantly hooked. It was gritty. It had lots of odd-looking characters, many of whom were social outcasts. The Ferengis, for instance, would do virtually anything for money. But there was something about the most ambitious and annoying Ferengi, Quark, that made him redeemable. As for Captain Sisko (Avery Brooks), he was definitely a babe! Like Jean-Luc, he was smart and skilled in diplomacy.

My college roommate thinks it's hilarious that I'm a trekkie now. My children used to watch the shows with me when they were small. But one day I guess I took my love for aliens too far.

I went to the neighborhood video store and rented five tapes. I came back home to the kids, who excitedly looked through the videos to see what they wanted to watch first. All five videos were Star Trek tapes.

"That's all you got??" they moaned. I gave the kids a sheepish grin.

They mumbled, then went out to play. I put my feet up and quietly escaped for a few hours to the "final frontier."

tags: star trek, trekkie, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-11-05T05:34:00.000-06:00

Too much estrogen?

I may get in trouble for writing this post, but sometimes I have to get away from women. Let me explain.

Right now we still don't have our own home yet. So my daughter continues to live with friends. The woman with whom she lives has two daughters. She is also the guardian for four foster daughters. The husband is the only male in the house, unless you count the little toddlers his wife keeps in her home daycare.

My daughter and I are grateful for friends who would allow her to stay there. They treat her as if she's part of the family. But sometimes my daughter gets frustrated - like now. With so many females in the house, she has plenty of people getting into her "business" and making comments about virtually everything she says and does. I've witnessed it, so I know.

I visit my daughter and grandson as often as I can. I am fortunate because I am treated as "family," too. While I love our extended family dearly, sometimes I have to leave because there simply is too much "estrogen" in that house for me. Too much attitude!! My daughter finally told me yesterday that sometimes it gets to be too much for her.

My daughter, the youngest of three children, almost has been raised as an only child because there is a big difference in ages between my sons and her. Even after the baby was born, it was just the three of us - my daughter, the baby and me. (My oldest son is dead, and my other son lives in his own apartment.) So imagine the adjustment my daughter has had to make living in a house where, if you count the daycare kids, there may be 10 or more people in the house at the same time.

My daughter's comments about her frustration didn't come as a surprise to me. I have suggested two things to her:

1. To go into another room and shut the door when she feels she needs some time alone

2. To call me if I'm not working so that I can pick her up and get her out of the house

I am also going to talk to the mom in the house about being understanding if my daughter seeks some time alone. The mom says she considers my daughter to be one of hers. Sometimes I think she takes it a little too far, though, even though I know she means well. That's the challenge of living in someone else's house. That's why should everyone should have his/her own home.

It's my responsibility to provide housing for my daughter and grandson, and I take that seriously. In order to make it possible for us to get a new home, I am job-searching again. I have a job I like, but the pay is very low. No one gets rich working in public education, especially the position I have. I really don't like the job-hopping, and I hate to leave a job where I feel I have a "calling," but I have to take care of family.

I am proud of my daughter. Her grades are wonderful, and she's a fabulous mom. She's been very strong despite a very turbulent year.

Back to the topic: "Too much estrogen?"

I love my women friends, but sometimes I honestly can't deal with a lot of women at once. My daughter is like me in that regard. Both of us grew up as the only girl in a family that is overwhelmingly male. So we both have always had lots of male friends, and we get along well with males. I don't remember either of us ever complaining about being around too many guys.

One of the biggest challenges I ever had was working a job where 95% of the employees were female. They were, for the most part, wonderful women, but I never adjusted to the "attitude" and catty remarks heard throughout the office on any given day.

Do my daughter and I prefer "testosterone" over "estrogen"? I'd like to think we have a great appreciation for sisterhood - that I simply need to get us a permanent home. What do YOU think?

tags: women, culture, life, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-10-17T21:17:00.000-05:00

Eureka!

It finally happened. Someone hired me full-time! I begin work at a high school on Wednesday. My official title is parent educator. However, my job will entail much more than working with parents and teachers. I think the principal of the school already wants me to work closely with him on various projects.

I have gone through some crazy stuff between the time I interviewed for the job and the time I was hired. I'm not complaining, though. Still, I have enough employment-related stories to fill a book! Perhaps I'll share my latest "adventures" in a future post.

I haven't given up my job at the casino yet. My bosses at the casino are trying to keep me, too, to work evenings and weekends. It's nice to be wanted.

So, my friends, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I've had a whirlwind of activity. For everyone who has hung with me - and you know who you are - thanks so much. You have shown me the treasure of friendship.

tags: life, work, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-09-25T13:25:00.000-05:00

A mother remembers

It happened several years ago, but sometimes it seems as if it were yesterday. It was the night a stranger broke into my home, stabbed me multiple times and left me for dead. My son, a little boy at the time, witnessed the entire thing. He was in the room when it happened. I was nine months pregnant.

The stranger had tried unsuccessfully to rape me. He didn't attack me right away. I spoke with him for 20 minutes, trying to talk him out of what he had planned to do.

The young man broke in through the kitchen door. When the noise woke me out of my sleep, I got up to see what was happening. It didn't dawn on me to be afraid.

The young stranger told me that he had been sent to kill me. I kept him in the kitchen - out of my son's view - because he tried to rape me.

I think the stranger was afraid. That's why he allowed me to talk to him for 20 minutes. I don't think he was prepared to face me because I was supposed to be asleep. Also, I was calm and gave no appearance of being afraid. As I talked with him, I took careful note of his appearance and prayed to God.

After 20 minutes, the young man lost his patience. He shoved me into the room where my son was, then knocked me to the floor. Then he started stabbing me in the top of my head. By the time it was all over, I had 17 stab wounds in my head, face, neck, arms and hands.

The stranger did not physically harm my son, who had the presence of mind to remain still until he was sure the stranger was gone. Then my little boy ran to the phone to call police.

I lost consciousness for a short time. I woke up just in time to hear parmedics say, "Oh, my God, she's pregnant!"

I was rushed to the closest hospital, where I was stabilized. Then I was transferred to the hospital where my doctor was on staff.

Because I was pregnant, I was hooked up to machines. Some monitored me, others monitored the baby. The doctors said that if I weren't pregnant, they would have operated on me immediately because a stab wound in my neck disturbed them. The doctors decided to wait 24 hours to see if the wound would get better. It did.

Seven days later, I gave birth to a large, healthy baby - my daughter.

There was a lot of activity for the next several days. A police investigation was underway. Since I was working as a journalist at the time, I became headline news. The news wires even picked up the story.

Five days later, police officers told me that they had arrested two people. One was the young man whom I had identified in a photo. The second was my daughter's father. Police say it was a murder-for-hire scheme.

tags: abuse, domestic violence, relationships, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-09-14T22:49:00.000-05:00

About men

From time to time in recent months, I've been thinking about men and romance. I haven't dated in years. Perhaps I've been thinking about men more often because I wish I had someone who would "take care" of me. I've been wishing for that since I was a little girl, but I've become quite adept at taking care of myself.

I love men. Really. And I have lots of male friends in my life. In fact, for as long as I can remember, my male friends outnumbered my female friends.

So what's going on with me? I finally have to admit that I'm protecting my heart. I made some really bad choices in men when I was younger. I respect my former husband, and we remain good friends. However, my ex was not husband material.

My last romance was a long-distance relationship. It ended in January of 1999. The man was someone who had been my friend since I was 14. I was quite happy with the relationship. But the guy got it into his head that I needed someone closer to home. He made the decision to sever our relationship without consulting with me. I was furious.

I've been asked out by men over the years, but I've never gone. Up to now, I haven't felt ready to let a man into my life.

There has been one man who, under different circumstances, could be my soulmate. But he's married with kids, and I don't mess with married men.

Even though I've been single longer than I've been married, I apparently have that "married" look. In fact, a man told me that once. Ever since then, I've been thinking that I really need a makeover!

Some women are really into the physical attributes of men. Generally speaking, I could care less what a man looks like. My celebrity "crushes" include Hugh Jackman, Hugh Laurie, Tommy Lee Jones, Yaphet Kotto, Gene Hackman, Sean Connery, Patrick Stewart, Avery Brooks, Jimmy Smits, Richard Gere and Sidney Poitier. At the top tier, however, are Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino and Clint Eastwood.

The only men who attract me are the ones who engage my mind and exude confidence. I think smart, confident men are sexy.

Will I date and/or marry again? It's possible, if it's the right man. But first I have to get over the fear. Next...I have close friends who insist on screening the next potential "love of my life."

My male friends tell me that they feel sorry for my next husband. I haven't had sex in years. My friends say I'll kill my new husband on our wedding night!

tags: men, Love, relationships, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-09-09T04:34:00.000-05:00

Update

I think I'm going to do a better job of posting regularly. I just finished three weeks of house sitting for a friend. It included taking care of her cats and her garden. I am not a gardener.

The casino is keeping me busy. My body is getting better adjusted to the long hours on my feet.

More later. Until then, best wishes to everyone.

tags: personal, the journey to naomi

2006-09-01T21:55:00.000-05:00

For the romantic in you

I just ran across a sumptuous love poem that I think you'll enjoy. I just melted when I read this. And it even comes with a beautiful photograph.

Check out Mona Lisa Overdrive on Lovers Anonymous.

tags: love, lovers, relationships, love poems, poems, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-09-01T15:51:00.000-05:00

Let's talk about love

In many ways, children are much more genuine and articulate than adults when it comes to talking about love. We grownups can lose our spontaneity and freshness when this topic comes up.

A group of four- to eight-year-olds were asked the following question: "What does love mean?" Their answers might surprise you.

_____________________________________________

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy, and she takes a sip before giving it to him to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together, and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6

tags: love, friendship, children, inspiration,naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-08-27T18:37:00.000-05:00

Having a pity party? Pray this!

The Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy; O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

________________________________________

St. Francis was born at Assisi in 1182. After a care free youth, he turned his back on inherited wealth and committed himself to God. Like many early saints, he lived a very simple life of poverty, and in so doing, gained a reputation of being the friend of animals. He established the rule of St Francis, which exists today as the Order of St. Francis, or the Franciscans. He died in 1226, aged 44.

St. Francis' prayer is a bold one, asking for strength to give of ourselves to meet the needs of others. He recognizes that it "is in giving that we receive," that as we give of ourselves, we receive the peace and blessing of God.

Think about the situations that you are involved in that require peace, consolation, hope, light and joy. Then, if you're bold enough, pray the prayer!

Source: The Prayer Guide

tags: inspiration, st. francis, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-07-07T15:31:00.000-05:00

In search of a rewarding career

Today I had a job interview. The position I applied for isn't full-time. However, it is in promotions, something I think I'd enjoy. I'd get to work with people in a fast-paced environment. If hired, I'd be on call. But it's a job, and I have to start somewhere.

My interview was at a casino. I live in a major city, but this was the first time I had ever set foot into a casino. Once inside, I gazed in amazement at the flashing lights and the crowds, but only for a few moments. I stayed focused and headed for human resources.

Once there, I completed the second half of an online application. (I completed the first part of the application, my work and education profile, at home.) In the HR office, I answered about 25 questions designed to determine if I have good customer service skills.

I train others in customer service, so I think I did all right on the questionnaire. But I admit to lying on one question. The question: Has anyone ever told you that you talked too much? I answered NO. :-)

Later, I participated in a group interview with others.

I learned a lot today. When people are gambling away their fortunes in a casino, it's important to have employees who smile all the time, treat guests like they're VIPs, and maintain a high-energy environment. Projecting fun is first and foremost in every casino.

*** Update: I got the job!***

tags: life, work, casino, naomi-usa, journey to naomi

2006-07-07T15:00:00.000-05:00

Never give up

Once our minds are ‘tattooed’ with negative thinking,
our chances for long-term success diminish.
- John C. Maxwell

My life has been quite eventful this past year. Two days after being appointed to a leadership team to plan a $2 million fund-raising campaign, I lost my job. A few days later, I found out my teenage daughter was pregnant. I never saw it coming. I lost my home. Things went down from there.

You can always count on family

Over the months, I endured family insults that I was a bad mother. Relatives not only slung mud at my daughter, they slung mud at me. That, in and of itself, was hurtful. The fact that I was unemployed and struggling to keep everything together made life even more challenging. I had moments of total exhaustion - physically and mentally.

Nevertheless, I never gave up. I made sure my daughter got good medical treatment. She stayed in school and continued to excel. We had some very hard times, but we met the challenge head on.

I lost my home shortly after the baby was born. But nothing could take away my joy at the birth of my grandson, who is a gorgeous and happy baby. He looks like his mom and has her charm. Like his mom, he lights up a room with his presence. I am so proud of the kids.

The good news is . . .

My daughter is back in school. Her grades are wonderful. She’s in honors classes in the fall. She has her whole life ahead of her. I want her to remain focused on her goals. Everyone makes mistakes. The mark of maturity is when you can rise above them and keep going.

Our little family is still moving from place to place because I’m still looking for a full-time job. We’ve gotten very little help from family. But that was no surprise. Our faith keeps us going. We also get support from a small cadre of wonderful friends. Never underestimate the power of God and the kindness of people - some of whom you’ve never met.

My daughter and I will be successful because we refuse to drown in negative thinking. Sure, we get discouraged at times. But we refuse to be destroyed.

The great thing about life is that with each day, you get the opportunity to begin again.

tags: life, work, friends, perseverance, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-07-05T14:47:00.000-05:00

More about Naomi

I’m a writer whose world revolves around her work and children. My personality is complex, according to those close to me. I’d like to think I’m perceptive. Others may argue convincingly that I’m from another planet!

I possess two distinct personalities. One side of me wears my heart on my sleeves. The other side, which I try to keep hidden, may chew you up and spit you out, if provoked.

In the end, I’m just a little girl wishing that someone would protect her. However, I learned when I was small that it’s up to me to believe in myself.

Journey to Naomi
(c) 2006 Naomi Freeman
All rights reserved.

tags: life, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi

2006-07-05T13:58:00.000-05:00

Greetings

You have just entered the world of Naomi. Welcome! Hopefully, you will enjoy this space.

I'm a chick who said she'd never write a journal to rant and rave. I didn't think journaling was my style. Wrong! After blogging for a year in some other spaces, where my writing is purely professional, I found that I did need to pen some personal thoughts.

I'm not sure where I'm headed, but I do know that I'm off on a new adventure. Come with me and enjoy the ride.

tags: greeting, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi