With the exception of a couple of things, life hasn't changed too much since my last post. I'm still looking for a place to live. I thought I had found one this week, but it didn't work out. One of my colleagues is helping me look, and I am very thankful for that. He has lots of contacts with people who own property or have knowledge of resources.
I've been updating my son about my "progress". I told him that I noticed that he had been pretty quiet recently - and if I had done anything to annoy him, I needed to know. My son assured me that I had done nothing wrong. But he repeated what he had said before - that he can't "do certain things" at his apartment while I am here. I assured my son that he didn't have to worry about me staying with him long-term because while I'm living with him, I can't do a lot of things.
I must admit that for a few days, I wasn't really happy with my son, although I respected his need to have his privacy again. So, for a few days, I stopped doing some of the things I typically did - like cooking dinner for two and buying food for both of us.
I just cooked for myself. I only bought food that I liked. I wasn't angry at my son. I was a bit disappointed. I'm not the kind of mom who tries to put her children on guilt trips, but I couldn't help remembering all of the sacrifices I had made for my son. I also remembered how proud I am of my son - that he really is a wonderful young man. He isn't perfect, but neither am I. One day the burden I had been feeling went away. I knew I had to let the hurt feelings go if I was going to continue to move forward.
I'm sure everything will work itself out. It will just take some perseverance and patience. I am grateful for having people here who care - and for having a colleague at work who is willing to make calls every day on my behalf.
As for other things going on, my daughter's godfather and I exchanged heated words last weekend. Godfather started whining about my daughter's pregnancy. As far as I'm concerned, we need to move on. I apologized for getting angry, but Godfather isn't taking my calls. I know that I'll simply have to wait him out.
Even so, life is good, and it's going to get even better. Thanks to all who share my feelings of hope.
Tags: life, family, musings, naomi-usa, the journey to naomi