Thursday, September 14, 2006

About men

From time to time in recent months, I've been thinking about men and romance. I haven't dated in years. Perhaps I've been thinking about men more often because I wish I had someone who would "take care" of me. I've been wishing for that since I was a little girl, but I've become quite adept at taking care of myself.

I love men. Really. And I have lots of male friends in my life. In fact, for as long as I can remember, my male friends outnumbered my female friends.

So what's going on with me? I finally have to admit that I'm protecting my heart. I made some really bad choices in men when I was younger. I respect my former husband, and we remain good friends. However, my ex was not husband material.

My last romance was a long-distance relationship. It ended in January of 1999. The man was someone who had been my friend since I was 14. I was quite happy with the relationship. But the guy got it into his head that I needed someone closer to home. He made the decision to sever our relationship without consulting with me. I was furious.

I've been asked out by men over the years, but I've never gone. Up to now, I haven't felt ready to let a man into my life.

There has been one man who, under different circumstances, could be my soulmate. But he's married with kids, and I don't mess with married men.

Even though I've been single longer than I've been married, I apparently have that "married" look. In fact, a man told me that once. Ever since then, I've been thinking that I really need a makeover!

Some women are really into the physical attributes of men. Generally speaking, I could care less what a man looks like. My celebrity "crushes" include Hugh Jackman, Hugh Laurie, Tommy Lee Jones, Yaphet Kotto, Gene Hackman, Sean Connery, Patrick Stewart, Avery Brooks, Jimmy Smits, Richard Gere and Sidney Poitier. At the top tier, however, are Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino and Clint Eastwood.

The only men who attract me are the ones who engage my mind and exude confidence. I think smart, confident men are sexy.

Will I date and/or marry again? It's possible, if it's the right man. But first I have to get over the fear. Next...I have close friends who insist on screening the next potential "love of my life."

My male friends tell me that they feel sorry for my next husband. I haven't had sex in years. My friends say I'll kill my new husband on our wedding night!

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Anonymous said...

Hey, I am not in the list of your crushes? I though I am ;-)

Now listen to me: Let your self a little lose. Lower your guards. Let your self out without fear. That is the makeover I think you need. Tell me I am wrong.

Naomi said...

Dear Anonymous: Who are you??
Since I don't know who you are, I guess you'll never know if I have that crush. ;-)

You want me to lower my guard? Hmmm. That will be a challenge. I don't think I've EVER had my guard down, not even as a teenager. I probably need to join some self-help group for that. LOL

You could be right, however. If I unwind a little, it could very well be the makeover I need. Thanks for the advice.

NewYorkMoments said...

It's definitely OK to kill him on your wedding night. Just as long as he's already named you as his beneficiary.

Naomi said...

NYM: LOL!! I feel empowered already! I will definitely remember your advice.

Alina said...

Naomi, your posts are really quite fresh and honest. Yes, you might kill your future husband a little bit, not necessarily in that precise night.

You should start dating again. It's been to long I am sure! And I trust your judgement in men at this time :D

Anonymous said...

Who am I? I am your own inner voice. Can't you listen that? Or dont you want to listen? Or you are just ignoring that?

Naomi said...

Alina: Thank you for your kind words.

About dating: It probably would be good for me to start seeing guys again. But I've never dated anyone who didn't start out being my friend. Among my current male friends, I don't know anyone whom I would like to date. I know what you're going to say: Make new friends! :-)

Anonymous: My inner voice?? I don't think so! LOL

Alina said...

Or you should just date acquiantances, not friends. Saw you are also using AdSense, so clicked it :) Once you start using it, you pay more attention to others' :D

Take care and happy man hunting!

Anonymous said...

Why I think as you do if I am not uyour inner voice?

Naomi said...

Alina: Do they offer courses in man-hunting??