Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What a difference a year makes

It's been over a year since I posted here. In my last entry, I wrote that things were changing for the better, and then I dropped off the face of the earth. I started a lot of posts, but I never finished them. I'm determined to get this one up, no matter what.

A lot has transpired in the last year, especially job-wise. I worked very hard in my education position. The organization is very dysfunctional. Power-plays at all levels were underway - mostly because there were many changes in leadership.

I achieved a lot, but it came at a price. Colleagues were jealous, so they sabotaged my work. I received a great performance review, but my boss was canned. A new boss came on board and within a couple of months placed me on probation for poor performance. It just came out of the blue. No warning.

My job is a place where the Peter Principle thrives. Mediocrity is alive and well. Nevertheless, I continued to give the organization my best work. I tie all of my work back to God and the students.

Don't get me wrong. I respect authority. However, it's tough working in an environment where personal agendas reign supreme. Factor in the fact that a couple of colleagues are paranoid, passive aggressive, and kiss-ups to anyone who they perceive is in control. They are also you-know-what disturbers. I made the most out of each workday, but going to work just wasn't much fun.

Cutting to the chase: I'm now laid off, and I'm looking for another job. My daughter panicked at first because she thought we'd be homeless again. I have no intention of letting that happen. Still, the economy makes job-hunting a challenge. I've had a nasty bout with clinical depression.
Simply put, I have moments when I feel like I'm a failure. I've withdrawn socially. I know that's not good, but I feel I need some time to pull myself back together.

Despite all this, I try to look beyond what's in front of me. I also try not to lose sight of the good things that are happening.

My daughter is still in college, and she's doing well. My grandson is now three. Actually, he's three going on 30. He's taller than a lot of four-year olds. It's amazing how much he comprehends - how well he talks for his age. I can actually have conversations with him. He's my buddy. He's also a ham - incredibly funny. That comes in handy on days when the emotional pain is excruciating.

I don't believe God has brought me through a lot of changes, just to let me self-destruct now. Because I feel so miserable, I believe a breakthrough is about to happen. I just have to hang in there and be thankful for what I have.

The one thing that's constant in life is change. Now that's something positive. Happy new year.

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Sidhusaaheb said...

Being alive and healthy are the greatest blessings of all, I've come to believe.

It's good to know that you stop to smell the roses along the way, so to speak.

I sincerely hope that God will continue to be kind to you.


Naomi said...

Sidhusaaheb, what a pleasant surprise! It's wonderful to hear from you.

You are right. Being alive and healthy are tremendous blessings. I am trying to do a better job of stopping and smelling the roses.

I hope God will continue to extend his kindness by taking care of my family. We are praying for a regular income again.

Thank you for your good wishes and kind comments.

EXSENO said...

Maybe it was for the best. A hidden blessing in disguise. It had to be depressing to be treated that way, with all of that negativity around you. Better things are in store. You hand in there.

Naomi said...

EXSENO, I know you are right. I believe I have been liberated from a very unhealthy environment. It's just unfortunate that my employer chose to try to cast a pall on my integrity.

I don't take it personally because I know how this game is played. I find it distasteful. I am more than ready to move on.

Thanks for stopping by. I've thought about you a lot!

EXSENO said...

How are you doing?

Naomi said...

Oh my gosh, EXSENO! I was just thinking this weekend that I needed to update this site. So much has happened in recent months. I may have lost my job, but I got something much better -- a husband.

After more than a dozen years of not dating -- and being single much longer than that -- I got married! God is good. :-)

I'll fill you in soon. Thanks for caring!